I use to game a whole lot as a lot of you know. I loved when I would stream and have the company of people all over the nation and sometimes world. It’s fun having that company while gaming and it also helped my social skills. When I’m not anxious, I am able to just talk to people, even if it’s just a little bit. Gaming became an obsession. Come home, hop on the computer and start playing something. I spent HOURS on games like Smite, Minecraft, various platformers, Star Trek online, and the list goes on. I also really enjoyed having a collection of retro games and collecting more systems, games, etc. Was a part of a fun podcast where we talked about games, the gaming industry, shared opinions and just generally had fun with our passion.
Lots of things have changed. Am I still a gamer, but I haven’t played them very much lately. Most of you already know why. But I do miss the community I had helped build. I am very much still a part of it in some ways, but I feel like I’m being left further and further behind as far as game experiences go. I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing though. The obsession I had, for me personally, was not healthy or maintainable. I spent most of my time gaming and much less on doing anything else. I was letting life pass me by as I mined endlessly for diamonds or spent hours in online arena battles. And when not doing that, I was watching stream after stream after stream while doing those other things. It’s just not maintainable for me anymore.
I love to stream and share experiences with friends. I love to watch streams and spend time with online friends where we wouldn’t get to hang out otherwise. I loved making and creating and entertaining when I could. I loved the jokes, the laughs, the research, the sharing of ideas, all of the social aspects of gaming. That is what I miss most. The games are really just a means to an end. I am a very social gamer. I want to play with others, not just by myself. It’s depressing to game alone. I want to have that fun social interaction with the passions we share.
It’s just not possible to do that anymore. I am in love with someone very special to me and want to experience more things with her. I have so many other things going on in “RL” as we all say. I am getting some of the same social experiences I was getting before without gaming. I don’t think I will ever stream again. I try to catch a stream when I can. I still enjoy the company and conversations I have on occasion with my gaming friends. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I miss you all. I am still here and love you all the same as before. I wish I had more time to spend with you all like before. But life has changed so much. I am a much happier person after making some major life changes. I would not trade it for anything. But I have not forgotten about you all. I hope that you have not forgotten about me.