Who is that girl

me2017

My mind still has issues at times.  Specifically today it’s having trouble accepting a face that has not been seen.  It’s not just the looks, but the genuine smile, the ease, the comfort, the warmth.  My mind is not use to seeing this girl in the mirror and feels dis associative.  This girl is me, but my brain is confused.  “That’s our face?  How? Why?”.  Its both exciting and kind of confusing.

For years I saw this boyish person who was not ever happy, never smiled, did not want anyone around him, whose very stare told you to leave him the fuck alone.  My mind accepted this as the norm and even when a smile was on that face, super imposed the default under that smile as a reminder, telling me who I am.

The face I see has changed, the feelings and emotions have changed, my head is really confused because it had accepted one thing and can no longer impose that face, that feeling.  Its kind of hard to describe.  I am loving the way I look and feel.  My head is just going to have to get over it.  This change is for the better, but change is always hard for the stubborn I guess.