I’ve thought a lot about this lately and have many questions running around my head. Did I ever really grow up? What does being an adult really mean other than having added responsibilities?
Not easily trusting others, remembering the past so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes (or remembering after the fact), knowing generally what to expect from common situations, knowing what is expected. Its experiences we have had coupled with how we learned to deal with them (for better or worse). Our childhood experiences shape how we are as adults. Especially our quirks. I wonder to myself what did I experience to want, need or act a certain way.
We are all born with genetic personality traits. How that is developed as we grow up, determines what kind of personality we have. You can have a outgoing personality genetically, but if you were abused mentally or physically, the personality traits will be vastly different as opposed to not being abused.
Experience shapes and continues to shape who we are. The good thing about experience is that it can change. We are constantly remolded by experience. Our past scars can be healed through better experiences. Bad memories can stay as they are, memories. New experiences replace or overlap the bad ones and can help shape you.
Its often hard to see the forest for the trees. But when you realize that your experiences are not helping you, its best to find new things to experience. Those bad memories don’t have to haunt you forever. They will never leave you, but they don’t have to be the only thing that determines who you are.