When I think back on the past 6 months, I think wow…I went through a lot of shit in a short time. I survived. I get aftershocks of all the things that have happened and some things I will not mention here. I am still affected by them. But I continue to be here and breathe. I have accepted that I am a person who some people will not accept, and that is ok. I don’t need to change who I am or be someone I am not to please others. I just need to be genuine to myself and just be.
It’s an odd feeling to have confidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not oozing with self empowerment. But I have confidence where none existed before. Even the little I have gained is a strange feeling. I love this feeling, I can feel it in the way I carry myself. I can really tell when I am not feeling very confident instead of it all being a blur. I know who I am. I know what I like and what I hate. I am not ashamed of it. Although, I do hide some of it because others might not be able to handle it or may get offended. If they find out so be it. I am not going to hide it. Hell if someone asks I will tell them. But I am not just going to give that. People get uncomfortable with things they do not understand. I am not here for others comfort. I love my friends and family, but I can’t change who I am. All I can do is just not bring it up unless it’s important.
I have went through and continue to go through lots of trials. I am happy I survived and continue to keep on going forward. I am still dumbfounded by the difference from being one thing most of my life, and now not hiding anymore.