It has been a very long time since I’ve just sat and enjoyed music. Didn’t realize it until I stopped listening/reading the streams of consciousness on social media. As much as I love to keep up with people, there is much value in taking time to unplug.
I have always liked The Luna Sequence. Her music is amazing and I always forget to listen to her other albums. Right now I am really digging the song Parallels on the album This Is Bloodlust. She has no lyrics in any of her compilations that I know of. This one is no different. A perfect example of how raw emotion can be captured in sound.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alBZiXHYuG0 if you care to give it a listen.
I started looking for new music again because I have needed and wanted to make my own again, but lacked the motivation and drive to. Some music makes me see a reflection of how far I have yet to go. Kind of discouraging. Then I hear stuff like this that is only slightly beyond my current talent, but I see how the song was put together. I see hope, I see my own vision. I suddenly feel its not always an uphill battle and that the goals are achievable.
It’s times like these I can feel good about myself instead of the bad that surrounds conversations lately. Not that it’s bad for people to express negativity. It’s a part of life we can not avoid. I am there for my friends, but in taking all that and listening, it becomes a part of me. I feel their hurt. Perhaps I am being too empathetic? I don’t know how else to be. Its how I both understand and relate. I don’t just listen, I feel. If you cry on my shoulder, I may cry with you.
I love being able to do that. I want to be there for everyone. When my own life gives me social and emotional challenges, that strength is sapped quickly. When others I love are attacked, I want to attack right back. I fight more for others than I ever would for myself. That right there sounds funny to me. I’m not trying to be a hero, I just hate seeing others suffer. I can hide my own suffering. But to see someone else’s, especially if its someone I care about, hurts me deeply.
I want to continue helping if I can, to be there for others. Lately I just feel weaker emotionally than before. Some things I just can’t seem to cope with like before. I am not sadder or more depressed. But I do feel those feelings much more intensely. Luckily, as the wind blows, the weather changes quickly. Sometimes it just takes the right conditions to make it rain or shine.